When someone does you wrong in life, do you keep holding onto it or try to forgive. But what is forgiveness? Is forgiveness an exercise which benefits are for the other person or yourself? Let’s reflect on these.
Forgiveness, in reality, isn’t “really” about someone else’s harmful behaviour but how you keep relating to it. It’s a reflection of your own relationship with such a past experience.
Forgiveness is not forgetting
Forgiveness isn’t forgetting; it’s an exercise of summing up your resources and going into that past event and finding the bravery to heal, by letting go of the negative feelings attached to that experience.
And this is quite important as unbecomingly; we seem to have a tendency to hold onto our negative experiences more than to our positive ones. And with time we might end up going around carrying with us a baggage full of negativity.
Making our own peace
Let’s be realistic. At first forgiveness won’t come easy, but after some time you will start to realise that truly forgiveness is not an exercise for another person it’s primarily an exercise for oneself – A practice of compassionate self-healing and a way of transcending our hurts and pains so you can keep moving forward in life. Forgiveness is about making our own peace in life. As Jack Kornfield says:
It is not enough to know that love and forgiveness are possible. We have to find ways to bring them to life.
Jack Kornfield (2008) – Art of Forgiveness Loving-kindness and Peace
This reflection came to me while practising loving-kindness meditation
What are your thoughts? Leave your comment below.
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References
Kornfield, J. (2008). The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace. New York, NY: Random House USA Inc.
Believers say that only God (or Universe) can give forgiveness.
if so, then we should ask God to forgive those who have done us wrong, and the moment you ask God to forgive him/her or them or to yourself means that you have already forgiven, that you feel it that way very deep in your soul, heart and mind.
Every forgiveness changes us for the better, purifies
our emotional world, restore our peace, and strengthen, our selfrespect…
After we give forgiveness disappears bitterness, disappears pain, anger, hurt, thoughts of revenge … Remains a pure, free soul whit much more space for beautiful and valuable things and feelings such as love, friendship, mutual respect and selfrespect, serenity of soul and….
beautifully put